You can find romance novels and erotica all over the country. These books are safe and can be used to fantasize. They are not considered the best literature, no matter how great the writing quality. However, they are easily available and don’t carry the stigma of pornographic images and videos. It’s surprising what could be considered erotica, and it is growing in popularity and acceptance as a main stream genre of literature.
You can see this in Fifty Shades of Grey, and other similar novels. The erotic tension and sexuality is often high and explicit. The teen romances like the Hunger Games, for example, are heavily focused on Katniss’s physical side. Large chunks of the novel are devoted to Peeta and Katniss’s kissing. We were curious to see if reading romance novels or erotica would be considered cheating since pornography was previously considered cheating when you were in a relationship.
Kimber Vale (honorable erotic novelist, contributor to the Huffington Post), stated that “romance/erotica” and fantasizing are both considered safe ways to get something that you aren’t getting in your relationship. However, within the pages, they feel comfortable taking the chance.
We agree with Vale that reading and fantasy should not be considered cheating. Because there is often a lack in acceptance of our fantasies, we are often forced to fantasize in privacy because we fear that others will not accept what we want. You can also fantasize about another person during sex, which could cause tension in a monogamous relationship.
For those who are unhappy with their sexual relationships, erotica can be a valuable tool. They can use it to find their own fantasies and to satisfy their own desires, rather than giving into the demands of being with someone else. There are many levels of cheating. While we don’t believe that reading erotica should be considered cheating, it is hard to deny the fact that it can help unfulfilled fantasies. You can still read erotica if you feel a bit sexless and not yet sexually frustrated.
Can reading or fantasizing about erotica count as an intellectual or emotional affair?
Vale believes it shouldn’t. As you all know, morality is a spectrum. It might be viewed as such by some, but that is another reason to keep it quiet .”
This attitude can make it difficult to talk openly with your partner or spouse about your sexual fantasies. It can be difficult to openly talk to someone you love and know intimately about your sexual desires in a monogamous environment. Vale believes this is a shame. She stated that it doesn’t allow their partner to explore the kinks and maybe reach a new level sexual enjoyment together.
When it comes to infidelity and erotica, we couldn’t agree more.
The stats for erotic fiction are often stated as 90% being female, with the remaining 10% representing other genders. This may be surprising to men who read this, but women often fantasize about having two male friends. Although the notion of Lesbians being interested in men is old-hat, it’s still a shocker to think that women may be interested in Lesbians. Kimber Vale’s fiction, some of which falls under the category of gay romance and erotica, estimates that women make up the majority of her readers in terms of erotica. Vale estimates that although women may not be the majority in terms of erotica (pardon the pun), they are equal with males and females.
There are many niches in erotica. You will find erotica for every fetish you are interested. BDSM and menage a trios are now more popular fetishes, even though they were once considered taboo prior to the advent of the internet. Kimber Vale believes there should not be any distinction in the fetishes that erotica writers discuss.
“To each his own. I like rocky road. When asked if there should be an erotica, Vale says that she likes peanut butter cup .”. “Just because I don’t like that type doesn’t mean they shouldn’t make it. If you make pickle ice-cream and nobody buys it, you can decide your goals. Do you want to sell a million copies or are you just trying to make your own rock? Some people write extreme fetish erotica. It doesn’t matter if they love it. It’s possible that it will be loved by someone else .”
We have repeatedly stated on this blog, and in interviews that we believe monogamy and the stigmas society places on certain sexual fetishes are detrimental to open communication between partners. Vale also agrees and states that open communication between partners about sexual desires and fantasies is key to a healthy long-lasting relationship.
I believe everyone is at a different level of comfort when it comes communicating their needs. For some, it might be easier to have a conversation with your partner than for others. Others might need to take small steps to get there. Let’s be honest with our partner and start a dialogue. Your relationship won’t survive if you keep your needs secret. Even if you are not their kink they might be open to working with you to fulfill your needs em>
You might be able introduce your spouse or partner to new fetishes through erotica. Vale recommends that you introduce a book that highlights any kinks or a movie with some kind of demonstration.
“Even though they might be hesitant to try something new, it is worth reading or watching together. Your response to the fetish/act might be enough to get them interested. People love to please their partners, and sometimes all it takes to get someone to step out of their comfort zone and try something new .”
However, this doesn’t mean you should ignore their feelings or give them time to adjust to the idea.
You may feel frustrated by your spouse’s sexuality. Please consider trying erotica to help you manage that frustration. You can read the novels of Kimber Vale here.