Five Ways to Get More of the Sex You Want

Ask yourself: What kind of sex do you want?

Although sex is often referred to as a product that can be replicated (a blowjob is a job, a job is a job), it’s not. Sex is more than a collection of movements.

It’s an experience. Every time you have it, it is different.

You won’t get anywhere if you wish for better sex without thinking about the implications. While we’re on the subject, wishing that your sex life was better if you performed sexual activity X more often is also a waste. Every sex act repeated too often can become boring.

It’s not easy to answer this question by listing all the sexual activities you have tried. There are many sexual activities that you don’t know about or have never tried. It’s difficult to decide what you want without all of the options. A particular activity might seem appealing, but it may not provide the experience you desire.

Instead of focusing on the things you want more often, think about how you would like to feel when you have sex.

Are You or They or All?

Experimentation, risk-taking, and being open to our desires is the best way to learn about sex. Without some level of safety and comfort, these things can be difficult to do.

This is why you should have more sex than you think you deserve.

Sometimes, our partners can be bad news. They don’t care about us, or they do, but they’re not able to keep up the pace. They can abuse you verbally, emotionally and physically. We all find ourselves in such relationships and we hope to get out.

Sometimes, our partners can be a problem. They’re not abusive and they can care for us.

Sometimes things work, but sometimes they don’t.

A website or best friend can point out when you are in the first type of relationship. However, it’s impossible for anyone outside to tell you if your relationship is in the second or third categories.

If you are looking for more sex and want it with someone else and it isn’t working out, it may be time to think about whether it is fear or shame over sex or a relationship that isn’t allowing you to grow in the way you desire.

Request It
I have spoken to thousands of people about their sexual lives and I can say that I am comfortable with one conclusion: Straight people are terrible at asking for sex. Although gays, lesbians and bisexuals are not experts in sex, it’s true that straight people have a hard time asking for sex.

Straight men asking women for sex are either considered creepy or desperate if they come out to ask. Straight women asking men for the sex they want is considered sexy. This is a reflection of society’s views on sex. But here’s the problem. If you don’t ask, your sex life will be left up to fate.

Expecting a partner to know your sexual preferences, especially a new one, is like asking them to pick a restaurant without knowing you are a vegan with celiac. They might get it right.

There are many ways to request the sex you desire. It is important to choose the right language and approach for you. One thing is certain, asking for it can feel uncomfortable. This is because you are taking a chance.

Recipients are always welcome
If you don’t want masturbation in your sex, then you should consider the needs and wants of others involved in the sex. To get more of the sex that you desire, you need to talk to the people you are interested in having sex with about their desires.

Negotiation is a part of sex. I don’t think it’s a bad thing. Even great sex should be the sex you desire.

In movies and TV, reciprocity usually means that someone gives oral sex to another person so they can have it. Problem with Hollywood’s version of reciprocity is that either one or both people complain about it. It’s not reciprocity, but a sexual relationship version mutual assured destruction.

Reciprocity does not necessarily mean that you do the same thing to your partner. You can usually work out a compromise if you both want more massages but your partner needs more nipple stimulation. It is important that both of you accept the possibility that you can get more of the things you desire.

Create Your Own Fun
Many theories exist about the idea that you must put something out there if you want it to attract. It should be true in our sexual lives, if it is true. Waiting for someone to come into your life to give you more sexual pleasure is a sign that you’re waiting for a fairytale to end.

We have easy access for most of us to better sex. You can also be better with yourself. It is not the same for everyone, but we can all do more to bring love, eroticism and pleasure into our sex lives.

There are many ways to increase the sexual energy and have fun. It’s not Oprah-style advice that you should live your best sexual life. Because our sex lives are a part of our lives and we have no control over it, there is no way to know what will happen. It’s possible to have your own fun without waiting for others. So get going!