There are many ways that affairs and alternative relationships can help those who are struggling with their marriage, but sometimes the dating world can be harsh. In a way, it’s all about how you look at it, but when you’re with another person whether it’s because you’re having affairs, inside a marriage or even just dating long term, you can lose yourself in those relationships.
We are told that relationships are about being a unit, a functional unit that allows you to act in a certain way, but we’re not told about how important it is to make sure that you feel bothered empowered and healthy within your relationships. If you don’t feel healthy and empowered within your relationships, then you need to look at alternative methods. These alternative methods might be as simple as having an affair or might be as complicated as deciding that you need to move from the house that you’re currently living into another one.
Only you can know your own needs.
So how can you feel empowered while in relationships, whether that’s a marriage, an affair, or even a friendship?
1) Don’t stress about time.
Maybe you’re not having affairs and not hearing back from someone you’re interested in quickly enough. Some people would take this as an open invitation to send message after message or text after text. Do not spam your potential affairs with messages or you’re going to find yourself without any options. No one wants to be harassed and patience is going to get you a lot further in this regard. Maybe you want to hook up and that’s understandable. After all, it’s normal to be impatient when you want something very badly, but you need to realize that whether you are having affairs or in more conventional relationships, that doesn’t mean that your affair partner is going to be at your beck and call 24/7.
2) Opinions don’t need to be taken so seriously.
We’ve all been in positions where something has been said that hurts our feelings. We’ve also all been in positions where we’ve hurt the feelings of somebody else and (perhaps) not meant to. If you are having trouble with your self-esteem –and most of us are –you need to make sure that you’re looking at the opinions that you are given in the wrong way. We all view the world through a filter of bias and it doesn’t matter whether we’re having affairs or not. Being an adulterer doesn’t put you in a different category of human being, so you need to be aware that someone who makes constant criticisms are just their opinions. You don’t need to take these criticisms to heart and if there are too many of them, you need to get out of this relationship.
3) Your needs are important.
We are told that to be a happy and fulfilled person we need to be selfless. While selflessness is an admirable thing, your own needs should be taken into consideration as well. Don’t make it so you are just looking at what your partner wants and doing what you think should be done for affairs. You want to receive something from these affairs or relationships and it is important that you can find a balance between your needs and the needs of those you’re having affairs with. You can’t do that if you are constantly focused on the needs of others.
4) Rejection and not being compatible are two different things.
Even if you are in loving and committed relationships, you will still have to deal with the sting of rejection. Something as simple as a “no”, can carry a heavy burden with it if what’s being rejected is something that we wanted to do. Make sure that you don’t lash out as that’s only going to make it more likely for you to receive further rejections whether you are talking about marriage or affairs. Maybe there’s something that you do or love (video games for example) which your partners for affairs or spouse do not love. If they are unable to be accepting of this difference, then you are going to feel constantly rejected. Keep in mind that sometimes, rejections just means that you are not compatible with those specific affairs. Other times, being incompatible with someone in certain areas doesn’t mean that you are not incredibly compatible with others. Figure out how much you are willing to give within relationships in order to make things work.