Chick flicks are watched by real men. He will sit with his arm around your neck, trying not to fall asleep. And when you do, he’ll let it go. Motivation is not absent in this behavior. Your husband is motivated to get sex and will do whatever it takes to achieve this goal. It takes feigning an interest in movies like these.
Bridesmaids
Men will be compelled to run to their beer fridge just by the mention of a group of women in matching fuchsia satin dresses. It’s not all bad, Bridesmaids has a female version of Hangover, and other guy movies. Foreplay is often underestimated, but laughter can be just as effective at getting women to sleep. He will use a movie to aid his sexuality if he can.
Eat Pray Love
A man wrote a humorous version of Eat Pray Love that became a huge hit movie. Andrew Gottlieb’s Drink, Play and F@#k describes what most men would prefer to do rather than watch a movie about a woman who is trying to find herself. It’s worth it. This movie is one-third food porn. The steam rising from the pasta is the only thing that makes this movie hot. A man who agrees to see any Julia Roberts movie has ulterior motives.
The Notebook
Ryan Gosling is the reason women should watch The Notebook. Your husband will not only have to listen as you talk about Gosling but he also has to hear lines such as this: “Does your love make miracles?” If his testicles don’t shrink after watching the film, it will be a miracle. After the movie, do him a favor and reach into his pants to make sure that everything is still working.
Sensibility and Sense
Men are often unable to conceive Jane Austen without destroying their libido. The most difficult movies to watch for men are period romances. He doesn’t care about handwritten love letters, flowing velvet and lace, or flowing velvet and lace gowns. He cares more about helping you lose your sense of humor when the credits roll.
Titanic
Anyone who saw Titanic was doing it for one reason. He should be going to Titanic 3D in April if he is willing to go with you. That’s the only reason he would endure that horror. As if star-crossed lovers sat on the bow of Titanic 3D wasn’t enough, he must also endure Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Keep Going On”. Titanic takes 194 minutes from your husband’s time. It is a loss that he will never recover.